So that's another Christmas done and dusted. Another festive session where I overindulged on Turkey and suffered through the inevitable meat sweats. That's about 20 for 20. Every damn year it gets me and I vow to never do it again yet after 364 days, I forget the painful experience of too much poultry on my underexposed digestive system and I do it all again.
Funny how that's an analogy for my entire life in general. People tell you not to overdo it, don't drink/eat/love too much. Don't say yes when you mean no. Don't say things you don't mean. All good advice and incredibly well intentioned. But over time, we forget. We think we know best and we ignore the well meaning advice and just wing it. Trust me, winging it is more over-rated than turkey.
For years I have always believed that I know best. All that academia must have paid off in some infinitesimal way and surely, I must know my own mind. Turns out I don't. Turns out, that I can still be blindsided and made a fool of. Worse, my current fool-like state is all of my own making and not really anything that merits sympathy. Typical story, girl meets guy, girl likes guy, guy likes someone else. In a twist, girl befriends guy and realises that whilst she adores his friendship she doesn't like him like that and both live happily (separately) ever after. Then guy meets yet another new girl and bins off his former friend without a second glance. I didn't even know men did that! I've spent years thinking women where like cats, fickle and prone to follow whoever treated them best whilst men were like dogs, loyal and true. Turns out you live and learn.
So here I sit, overdosed on turkey and annoyance. If I could I'd say something face to face, vent my anger in person but I can't. Truth be told it's for the best, I'd say a bunch of things that I couldn't take back and it would be incredibly awkward all round. Yes, I want to shout and rant but it'll get me nowhere. So I shall smile a smile that doesn't reach my eyes and pretend that nothing has happened. We shall carry on as before on the surface but our days of laughter and chats are gone. Everyone told me we couldn't be friends but I thought I knew better. They were right and I was wrong.
If it's okay with you though, I won't tell them that.
C xx
Funny how that's an analogy for my entire life in general. People tell you not to overdo it, don't drink/eat/love too much. Don't say yes when you mean no. Don't say things you don't mean. All good advice and incredibly well intentioned. But over time, we forget. We think we know best and we ignore the well meaning advice and just wing it. Trust me, winging it is more over-rated than turkey.
For years I have always believed that I know best. All that academia must have paid off in some infinitesimal way and surely, I must know my own mind. Turns out I don't. Turns out, that I can still be blindsided and made a fool of. Worse, my current fool-like state is all of my own making and not really anything that merits sympathy. Typical story, girl meets guy, girl likes guy, guy likes someone else. In a twist, girl befriends guy and realises that whilst she adores his friendship she doesn't like him like that and both live happily (separately) ever after. Then guy meets yet another new girl and bins off his former friend without a second glance. I didn't even know men did that! I've spent years thinking women where like cats, fickle and prone to follow whoever treated them best whilst men were like dogs, loyal and true. Turns out you live and learn.
So here I sit, overdosed on turkey and annoyance. If I could I'd say something face to face, vent my anger in person but I can't. Truth be told it's for the best, I'd say a bunch of things that I couldn't take back and it would be incredibly awkward all round. Yes, I want to shout and rant but it'll get me nowhere. So I shall smile a smile that doesn't reach my eyes and pretend that nothing has happened. We shall carry on as before on the surface but our days of laughter and chats are gone. Everyone told me we couldn't be friends but I thought I knew better. They were right and I was wrong.
If it's okay with you though, I won't tell them that.
C xx
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